How do be witty

Smart people can be boring. And funny people can be dumb. Nor is wit synonymous with humor. The twists and turns of phrases. Listen closely to the word play of Jay Z and read books by Nora Ephron. Jay Z carried a notebook of rhymes with him to open mics until he became familiar enough with the material—and confident enough—to deploy it without a cheat sheet.

My group was in last place. However, avoid joking about things that matter, like being worthless or a bad person. If you do, that can signal a poor self-image and will make others feel uncomfortable. Being witty in an attempt to be rewarded with laughs will end up being needy.

Rather say things because you think they are hilarious and that you want to share with the group. If you know someone funny, pay attention to how they do it. Make comments only when you feel inspired and think what you have to say is funny. An example is James Bond, who is occasionally witty and seen as very attractive. An interesting study showed that people who can name objects faster are also seen as more charismatic. Save wit for the people you know well, and for those who know you.

If you make a joke out of that, they might not try to talk to you again. The same witty banter can work well with one person and be a disaster with someone else. Meet that person by communicating back in the same way, with the same level of friendly teasing.

Pro-tip: avoid escalating the put-downs. You can only do this with people you know reasonably well, or that rare individual who is so easy-going and quick-witted they rarely take offense. Beware, though, people can be offended and not show it. What do you know about someone that you can tease them about? Perhaps your friend jokes about your dry dating life.

What do you have on your friend when it comes to dating? Unclench your jaw, open your lips a bit, and relax your eyebrows. Put your hands by your sides and smile. Have a friendly voice and laugh when appropriate.

A blanket-solution instead is to misunderstand an insult as a compliment, on purpose. Skip to navigation Skip to content. Discover Membership. Editions Quartz. More from Quartz About Quartz. Follow Quartz. These are some of our most ambitious editorial projects.

From our Obsession. We explore how language helps us make sense of a changing world. Published November 14, This article is more than 2 years old. Sign me up. Check out my interview with Kristen Carney from Kristen And Chill if you want to learn how to develop your wit.

To help you get started, I want to give you an exercise that I teach to our clients in our social skills coaching program. And then, take the time to brainstorm some interesting responses and fun stories to share in advance.

In fact, this is one of the best confidence-building exercises that I know.