While driving, they may consider the mechanic who gave their car a tune-up or the person who washed it. Read fiction to connect with others' experiences. Challenge everyone to get lost in a fictional story and really connect with the lives of the characters. Volunteer more often. Inspire those you are teaching to take positive action in their local communities. Suggest some of the following volunteer opportunities to the adults you work with: serve in a soup kitchen, dedicate time to an important charity, or read to at-risk children at the library.
As a result, this cultivates stronger empathy for people in general. Method 3. Give people your full attention. Distractions are one of the most common obstacles to effective empathy, so remove them whenever possible. Silence your phone, turn off the TV, put down the magazine, and truly engage with the person you are talking to. You can also become distracted mentally or physically, such as when you are worried or hungry.
Attend to your needs before starting a conversation, so you can be fully present with others. Share your emotions when you connect with others. Being vulnerable with your own thoughts and feelings is a call that allows others to exercise empathy. When you are talking to others, make an effort to use feeling words.
This helps clue them into your emotional state. Respond appropriately to the concerns of others. Is someone around you in need of empathy? If so, use open body language that fosters a connection, make occasional eye contact, and soften your voice.
Just make sure you are aware of the other person's personal boundary needs before you try to make physical contact with them. Sometimes, you may get the call to express empathy towards others, but not know how to do it correctly. If this happens, simply be present with the person—just be there.
Find specific ways to lend a helping hand. You can inspire others to be empathetic by taking action when others are in need. Rather than just standing on the sidelines or expecting the person to request help , think of actionable ways you can offer assistance. If a family member is struggling with mental illness, offer to accompany them to therapy sessions or support group meetings.
Empathy is a trait that is part inborn but can also be learned if motivated. Things that can facilitate this are role-playing, paraphrasing, practicing to read non-verbal cues, and keeping a journal.
Yes No. Not Helpful 0 Helpful 2. Yes, empathy can be taught, but it might be slow going if it does not come naturally. Keeping a log or journal can be a useful aid, as can a friend who is aware of the changes you are trying to make.
Not Helpful 0 Helpful 1. Teaching empathy doesn't happen immediately, but has long-lasting results. Helping someone learn to be empathetic can be a slow process as they work to understand other people's emotions. Be prepared to devote a good amount of time to helping someone develop this important trait because the results are always worth it. Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered. By using this service, some information may be shared with YouTube. Here are the titles of those:.
Read about the lives, struggles and fights against oppression of different groups of people — in history books and essay collections and newspapers. Read and watch first-person accounts of the experiences of others in magazines and newspapers, on social media and in podcasts and documentaries.
For example, it includes a series of first-person documentaries about race in which people from a variety of backgrounds talk about their experiences.
But there are ways parents and caregivers can teach empathy. Parents and caregivers can also use books to discuss issues like discrimination. A membership with the Little Feminist book club sends books, along with activities and discussion questions, for talking about gender equality and diversity with girls and boys. Many parents, especially those who are white, try to avoid talking about race, gender identity, income level or other differences among people, believing that if they expose their children to diversity without making a big deal about it, their children will grow up without prejudice.
Even preschoolers see differences — and also hold biases. For families of color, these conversations often start much earlier by necessity, said Dawn Dow, a sociologist at the University of Maryland who studies race and family. Have the hard discussions , researchers say. Bring up topics like race. Dow said. She gave as examples the Nick Jr. Children who have those open, honest conversations with their parents are better able to recognize the structural inequalities that exist in our society.
Researchers say children are aware of stereotypes by age 3. Counter them by encouraging children to do a wide variety of activities and spend time with a range of friends. Model the same in your own life — starting with sharing the chores at home. Teach them what to do if they experience discrimination or see someone else experiencing it, and role play with them.
In one study , canvassers visited the homes of Florida voters and had a conversation about transgender rights. They also asked people to reflect on their own experiences of being treated differently. Afterward, the voters in the study showed more support for transgender people and for laws protecting them. Something similar happens at the Change My View subreddit. People have described it as the most civilized place on the internet, where people respectfully discuss controversial topics and are open to changing their minds.
Both examples show the power of having conversations about topics that might seem hard or uncomfortable. I compare it to yoga — getting comfortable by being uncomfortable. Some common errors , experts say, are:. Truly listening to someone requires active engagement. Here are some tips from Dr. Riess, the Harvard psychiatrist:. Building our empathy, considering the perspectives of others and opening ourselves to uncomfortable conversations can make that happen.
Godsil, the Rutgers law professor. Claire Cain Miller, a correspondent for The New York Times, writes about gender, families and the future of work for the Upshot, the New York Times section for analytical journalism in words and graphics. The beat has included writing about robots , raising feminist boys and real ways to make work more equal.
She has been at the Times for a decade, and previously covered the tech industry for Business Day. She lives on the West Coast with her family. As would anyone low in empathy for whatever reason. Researchers have examined whether it is possible to increase cognitive, emotional and behavioural empathy through formal training. The methods used to teach someone to be more empathic are in many ways similar to those used to teach a new dance or how to give a good public speech.
Training typically includes four elements. The first part usually involves instruction about the benefits of showing empathy, how to identify emotions in others, how to feel those emotions and how to comment appropriately on them.
Next comes providing models of a person showing empathy in response to something another has said or done. The models can be live, on video or audio, or written. The situation optimally includes a positive response to the appropriate expression of empathy. The model might sometimes fail to show empathy and subsequently demonstrate a better response. The third step is practice at showing empathy. This might occur live with the trainer or online in response to written or audio comments or actions of another person.
The practice would include, when possible, showing empathy in real situations outside training sessions. The last step involves constructive feedback on attempts to show empathy. The feedback typically includes praise when the person has reacted appropriately. It might also include information about how better to assess the emotion of another person or respond to the emotion.
A student and I recently completed a meta-analysis that pulled together 18 studies on the effects of empathy training. Our results indicated formal training can increase empathy. The studies measured empathy in various ways, but many used test measures. These present situations and then ask: what would you say to the person? Some studies asked for self-reports of empathy in everyday life.
No matter which measure was used, the training tended to have a positive effect. The findings of the studies we surveyed had limitations, though. The trainees who showed significant improvements were mainly health professionals or university students.
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